i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rumble strips road head = magical
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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