How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
