I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
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This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
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I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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