I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
