Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
