After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Randomize
