I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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