so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
