youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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