Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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