Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
