I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize