Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
