i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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