I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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