it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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