All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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