So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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