She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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