I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You were trust falling into bushes
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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