can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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