My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
