Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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