GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
