dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
