Soap is not a condiment
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
