once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
