never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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