SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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