if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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