Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize