I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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