Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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