I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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