Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
