If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
