Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
