Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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