Just mADE A PArabola og urine
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
