The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
too bad you live with your parents still
bring money and cleavage
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night