Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.