Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(406): View more from Montana

Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.

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(406): Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it. http://tfl.nu/qcms

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(415): View more from California

It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.

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(415): It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year. http://tfl.nu/fhgz

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(785): View more from Kansas

There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.

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(785): There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob. http://tfl.nu/pwq0

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.

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(978): I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver. http://tfl.nu/zig6

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(949): View more from California

Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?

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(949): Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it? http://tfl.nu/e2vj

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(910): View more from North Carolina

he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it

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(910): he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it http://tfl.nu/qxjz

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(949): View more from California

I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.

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(949): I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door. http://tfl.nu/w7kk

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(408): View more from California

By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.

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(408): By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going. http://tfl.nu/xmei

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(817): View more from Texas

I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.

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(817): I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut. http://tfl.nu/n51l

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(319): View more from Iowa

Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.

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(319): Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock. http://tfl.nu/6tse

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(515): View more from Iowa

She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during

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(515): She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during http://tfl.nu/5f1x

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.

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(617): Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it. http://tfl.nu/fza1

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(801): View more from Utah

Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know

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(801): Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know http://tfl.nu/1og0

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(574): View more from Indiana

I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.

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(574): I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help. http://tfl.nu/f05s

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(718): View more from New York

Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.

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(718): Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really. http://tfl.nu/n2d1

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