How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.