i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.