No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
