I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
