Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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