singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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