The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
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I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
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When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.