So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
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I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
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In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.