Barsexuality is the new black.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
