You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
The adults are the big ones right?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
