is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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