worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
