every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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