apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Randomize
