Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
