when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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