New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Randomize
