Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
