Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
