wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
