I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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