4 words: hood of his car
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
