We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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