I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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